She's desperate for fame, has the body of street walker and is not afraid of lying on her resume. If these aren't the quintessential ingredients to be Woodman's next penis ornament, I don't know what is. Now save those Euros and fly the U.S and A. kthx.
You see all these girls avoiding all sphincter association with anything longer than a Vienna Finger, and more metal than a carburetor. Understandable. Then there's this reckless bitch. Chowing down on 9 inches without a safe-word. #TRENDKILLER
Dude gets the invite to take the vein train to A-town on a snowbunny that has a smaller vagina than Dwayne Johnson. He deals with the opportunity the same way I dealt with 5PM traffic: Close your eyes, ram forward, and don't let the screaming stop you.
Fucking hell, this lady is an unfixable perma-gaper. In the medical world this is actually, and commonly, referred to as i don't need to buy tickets to see The Harlem Globetrotters, they just let me in syndrome. Good luck curing that shit...
There's a good reason why this one prefers stepping inside the squished muffin over traditional sex. A damn good reason indeed. $7 dollars, and my vintage Regis Philbin (signed) penis pump to anyone that can guess why before taking the jump.
This liberal arts dropout has a special kind of speech impediment that's left her sounding like a mountain goat. But it's no problem when the extent of her communication is limited to "now ur fuckin me" and "i want my mommy". Call it divine intervention.
If it involves an asshole made of silly putty, and a cock that needs it's own social security number, you gotta be talking about redliight17. Yet again, she proves the return of Goldberg as heavyweight champion isn't the dirtiest thing you'll see in 2017.
I like how she gets a little self conscious towards the end and acts like this is going to suddenly going to limit her options in life. Sorry bae, the only way you go up from here is in amount of vagrant penises and STD counts. Your path has already been carved